I don’t have to tell you I’m pissed off for you to know that I’m angry. I do this thing where I kind of look like I’m going to set the nearest person ablaze just with a glance and I get really quiet and…you get the picture, right? Now, I absolutely understand that I talk a lot. Stereotypically speaking, I’m a girl; girls talk a lot. But, I’m also really animated and have lots to say and I rarely hold back an opinion if I’m asked for it. So, yes. I talk a lot. And, I like that about myself. But, I also like that I’m so animated that you can tell how I feel about something just by my body language. I’m a big believer in paying attention to the nonverbal cues of others.
For example, I’ve got this best friend. She’s the best person I know, but she’s not much of a talker. However, I can tell nearly everything that she’s not saying by how she holds herself; her facial expressions, body language, etc. For me? My quirks and nonverbally whatsits? Let’s see…
Aside from being angry (which I am a lot; I’ve got a quick temper), there are several ways in which to observe how I feel about something. When I’m really interested in something, I tilt my head. That’s one of the dead giveaways if I’m paying attention to you or not. Or whether I’m interested in what you’re saying. My best friend knows me well enough to stop in the middle of a conversation and just give me this look that screams, “You’re just nodding your head to make it seem like you’re listening. I know you better than that”.
If I’m nervous or uncomfortable about something, I’ll bite my lip or my nails. Though, I’m a nail-biter by nature (I’ve been doing so since I was old enough to chew, ladies and gentlemen), so that’s a moot point, yeah? My best friend also says that I blink rapidly if I’m nervous or uncomfortable. I’d like to say differently, but that’s one of those nonverbal cues I’ve never really noticed before. It’s nice when people notice things for you, isn’t it?
Now, like I’ve stated, I’m an animated person, so my facial features give me away a lot of the time. I’m the girl you’ll see reading a book and you’ll know exactly what’s happening in the book because it’s written all over my face. Just ask my Biology teacher in high school. Because I was such a model student, I was reading for leisure during class and I had laughed out loud and shook my head from the novel (if you ever get a chance to read the Georgia Nicholson series, please do it; they’re absolutely hysterical). There was a special place in the back of the classroom that he reserved especially for me whenever I did that.
Really, I find it absolutely fascinating that you’re able to know how someone’s feeling without speaking with them. Nonverbal cues, specifically for me, are unavoidable. However, I kind of like it that way.
Melissa Darnold:
ReplyDeleteNonverbal cues are one of the best ways to really tell how a person is feeling. Their facial expressions can tell a lot about what the person is really feeling at that moment. Just like you I seem to make a certain facial expression when I am angry. A good friend of mine that I used to work with pointed it out to me one night when we were working together. I just taken care of a crazy complaining customer and he said that whenever I am angry squeeze my lips together (maybe to make sure I keep them shut and don’t say anything I will regret later) and my eyes get all squinty. Well needleless to say every time I got angry at work he knew it and would stay clear of me to avoid my wrath. I am also glad that I have meet another nail biter in this world, I have gotten better at not doing this but when I am really stressed or worried you can always find me chewing away.
I think that everyone has a certain tell that if you pay attention can clue you in to their real feelings. You just have to pay attention not only what they are saying, to what they are not saying, and to their face when they are talking.
I like how your best friend notices your body language and knows what it means. That’s a true friend! Nonverbal behavior is helpful to see how a person really feels about a subject. Just how your friend can tell when you are not paying attention to what your saying, some people are more obvious in the sense that anyone, even someone who they don’t know can tell if they are paying attention or not. I have a weird habit to cross my arms when I feel like I don’t want to talk to someone. They can be standing right in front of me talking and I will cross my arms and look the other way. I even know I’m doing it but I can’t help but do it. Just like biting your nails, you know your nervous but you still bite; I know I’m being rude but I still do it. A thing we have in common is also sometimes when we are listening but not paying attention we’ll just shake our head. I often do this, I shake my head up and down and I smile, not knowing what they are talking about. Imagine what different people do in situations like this.
ReplyDeleteMelissa,
ReplyDeleteOne thing I can say about nonverbal cues is that they can be misleading to a stranger and maybe an acquaintance. At work for example, there are 60 percent more girls than boys –there are only 3 boys working and they have the shortest hours. It can be overstressing and usually as girls do, we keep our mouths shut at times when we are about to blow. We do talk a lot for conversation sakes but to avoid any trouble, because we are girls, we like to play modest and give ways to each other. The problem with that though is we lack room for expressions. We end up banging things and giving silent attitudes. For someone who is not used to that kind of girl drama, like me, it can even get scary! What I’m trying to say is that nonverbal cues or verbal comments are easier said to people we know by heart or boys, because girls have the tendency of blowing up at each other. We are nice and sweet in general but I rather say something than not –but of course I don’t and won’t. It’s definitely nice that you have a best friend to understand your nonverbal cues; at the moment my understanding friend is my beau –which can be work sometimes.