“There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.”
-Walter Wellesley "Red" Smith
I write a lot. It’s this thing I do to let my feelings out because I’ve never been super good with telling people how I feel. Well, my true feelings, because I’m crazy loud and I’ll give you my opinion if you ask for it (and sometimes if you don’t). So, I write. And, because I write, by definition it almost seems, I’m vulnerable to let anyone read what I’ve written. It’s almost like you’re opening yourself up for everyone to inspect; pick apart.
“I don’t like this part of you; change it.”
“Oh, wow. You really feel that about this situation? That seems rather stupid of you…”
“Your writing can really use some improvement.”
Starting out in the beginning of the semester, I honestly had no inclination that I’d be sharing my writing and personal thoughts with anyone but Jenn. And, because I’m rather good friends with Jenn and have worked with her during The Vagina Monologues, I figured, “how much closer could two women get?” so she didn’t altogether bother me. But, then she mentioned blogs and people reading my stuff and suddenly my heart dropped and I felt, for a moment, like I was going to get sick. And, then the Peer Draft Reviews, which were nightmares because people picking my writing apart nearly drove me to tears. I’m crazy passionate about my writing and very protective over it.
I often joke with my one of my friends who I swear will be published in the next couple of years (he’s brilliant; not even kidding you) and he had made an offhand comment to me a couple of days ago. “Melissa, you’d sooner protect your writing than your future children.” I’d like to say that he’s wrong, but the weight of this statement alone is what got me. How could I, surely, let people read my innermost thoughts? Even though they’re highly sarcastic and very scattered, how could I? Would I dare open myself up and let people ultimately see who I am? Because, let me tell you this, ladies and gentlemen. If you’re at all curious of who I am, read my writing. I’m all there; 100% of me.
I think that my writing hasn’t much changed in this semester. I think that I have. I’ve learned that people are going to be who they are. And they can love me or hate me, but through my writing, they learn who I am. Do I still feel horribly vulnerable whenever I click “Publish Post”? Unbelievably so. I think I’ll always be just on the “crazy side” when it comes to my writing. But, I’ve learned to accept that about myself. I’ve learned that I’m a better formal writer than I thought I was, too. I’m happy that my writing hasn’t changed because it’s such a huge part of me. But, I’d like to believe that as I mature and change, so my writing does as well. I’d like to look back fifteen or twenty years from now and weep over the writer I used to be and the writer I’m going to be then. Because if there’s one thing I’m absolutely certain of the future, it’s that I’ll always be writing. If I’m living, I’m writing.
Everyone is going to criticize what you say as well as what you write, but as long as you stay true to yourself you are fine. I am very opposite to you though, I write and I am not protective over my writing. As a matter of fact, I am very open to criticism. Maybe because I don’t take what people say to heart because I know that just like I make mistakes they do too. I like to think of them just giving me advice because they’ve done the same mistakes I have and they are trying to help me out. I believe everyone is different and they have a certain way of writing that no one else does which makes them special. This is what influences your topics and your way of thinking which is a good thing. I also think that throughout time writing styles change just like you continue to change. It’s good that you believe your writing is part of you because that is what it is supposed to represent. It’s your thinking and ideas that go into written words and help you express how you feel. Keep doing what you are doing and remember everyone is going to criticize just try to look a it a little different.
ReplyDeleteI’ve been wondering for quiet while, ever since this semester started. So I’m going to finally ask; did you have Comm 103 and if so were you the one that made a presentation on hoarding? I know you have a thumbnail picture of you, but it’s too small to even make it out. Anyways, I have another questions. How on earth do you do it? All the posts you have written that I read was always fun to read. I never get bored reading them. I already could tell hat your writing is 100% you before you even said it yourself lol. It’s because the way you write has character and attitude--not in a bad way--and that’s what I like about your writing. Everyone is a critic, bad or good, and we really can’t do anything about it. Like just now, I judged your writing lol but in a good way, right? lol Oh and, I find it quiet too odd that you too get anxieties from people reading and criticizing your writing. Girl snap out of it! lol Your writing is great! I wish I could write as well as you. Take care!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, it was reflective and personal. I think the reason why most people enjoy your blogs is because your writing style is very personal. You’re a great writer and you shouldn’t be so fearful of what people think of it. Your blogs are easy to read, and very enjoyable. You’re fear of people judging your writing is natural, I think everyone gets that; and I understand. I used to be the same, but I found out the more protective I became over my writing, the more my writing became out of character to my usual writing. In other words, protecting your writing is doing just that putting a barrier in front of you and your audience which in turn, hinder your potential. I have to agree on your comment, you mentioned that this class changed you in a way; it made you think differently. I agree, I enjoyed this class a lot. My critical thinking skills and my outlook on life has changed in such a way that I can’t view things the same anymore. It’s like the feeling you get when you solve optical illusion puzzles, once you see it, you can’t “un-see” it. The perspective I gained from this class, I can’t un-see it.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Zar Sy on this one. You do have a very personal type of writing that is very entertaining and fun to read. BY sharing with others you can only gain...as long as you keep an open mind and know that they are coming from different walks of life, they have had different experiences, and that they are reading your writing with a different mind-set that what you wrote it in. This all is good because by taking in what they say, good or bad, you are broadening your sense of how people analyze you and what you out into your writing (which seems like a lot). Of course, if they say "your writing sucks" it is something you can definitely ignore since it is not helpful and they say it only because they are not clever enough to know what they are talking about, in which case you have no need to pay attention to what they say.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I myself am not a writer and this class has challenged me to write more than I have ever written. You mentioned that you changed and that your writing only changes with you...I think my writing has improved completely...but I have not changed...so this will be the most writing that I ever do=]
Well good luck to you...keep up your talented writing!
I really enjoyed the way you handled the blog for this week. I hadn’t considered the personal implications of writing versus conversation. I didn’t realize, until reading your post how much I am the same way. In your opening paragraph you wrote: “I write a lot. It’s this thing I do to let my feelings out because I’ve never been super good with telling people how I feel. Well, my true feelings, because I’m crazy loud and I’ll give you my opinion if you ask for it (and sometimes if you don’t). So, I write. And, because I write, by definition it almost seems, I’m vulnerable to let anyone read what I’ve written. It’s almost like you’re opening yourself up for everyone to inspect; pick apart.”
ReplyDeleteI don’t necessarily write for fun, but when I want to communicate something I feel uncomfortable saying in person, I will often write it in a letter. I use letters for things like apologies because I really think out exactly what I want to say.
I really appreciated the way you love to write. I once had the privilege of meeting and speaking with Jona Doolittle-Hoppes. She is the granddaughter of General Jimmy Doolittle and author of several books about him. When she spoke with me, she said that she believes we all need to write down our stories, because if we don’t, that history will be lost forever. Those words struck me and they are so true. Keep up the writing! You’re preserving history.